I have an awesome eldest son, who through no fault of his, lives about 5 hours car drive from me. We don’t get to see each other as often as we’d like but I’m very proud of him, and I also have to say that I am very proud of the job his mother has done as well.

Alex and I have a lot in common – we both love to debate, argue, and think about reality, yet at the same time, we also enjoy the sensuality of music, appreciate emotion, and tonight after chatting with him on MSN, as on previous occassions, we both know there is a “link” to each we just “know.” He’s my eldest, and I’m proud of him. Even when he tries to turn my arguments upside down, and take some joy in proving me wrong – but I also know, just as my Dad did with me, I’ve always got something in my back pocket that I know he has not thought about – and can challenge him with.

Even though he has under achieved in some areas, where I know he could have done better.. well.. who am I to be critical? I did the same.. underachieved in areas I know I could have done better.. but that’s no excuse, I know.

Years ago, I wrote a poem. I’ve shared it with Alex, and I hope one day, he puts it to music, or rearrages so it can be put to music. It was a wine induced poem, while thinking about love, loves past, loves future, loves present. Stuff that Alex may never totally understand, but I have an idea that as he grows older, he will understad.

Here’s one of those wine induced poems:

I watched a Robin the other day
Making a nest it was the first of May
I listened to its song, its chirp did raise
My spirit from the winters grave.

I watched the sun set in the west
I knew it would soon be time to rest
The ruddy colours in the sky
There is beauty when the day doth die

I saw the daffodils so yellow in bloom
In a garden its keeper so carefully did groom
Its life from seed that has sat in soil
To become in Spring the Flower Royal

I spoke to the rushing river yestrday morn
And spoke in happy tongue, yet forlorn
I spoke of life all anew and love that is found
Fate knows the river to its banks are bound.

I heard the cry of coyotes, wondering
At what there howl was offering
Perhaps a wail for some missing kin
Or joyful yelp for new love found ag’in.

I smelled the spring time atmosphere
While walking through the forest near
My heart was happy, yet heavy still
And so I sat upon the yonder hill.

As I sat upon the rocky crest
I became aware of the beating in my breast
I felt my shoulders, they were bare
Pleading for fingers of one so fair.

I dwelled upon all I had seen and heard
I looked to the West for some sign or word
Of when my soul would feel complete
Fate, I know, me it will not cheat.

My heart cried like the coyote call
Her kiss wrapped round like winter shawl
Is what I want, is what I need
My soulmate is for all I plead.

My soulmate to talk to the river
With me, parting from me never
My completion, my rose like Seal’s
In front of her I need to kneel.

To dance together like Northern Lights
Creating our own colored love rites
To know, to feel, to love and admire,
Oh Fate, come, come lift me higher!

*************

Ok, so you think it’s silly. Wait till you read my John Donne immitation.

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